Pismo

Okay, okay.

So as previously mentioned, when I was on my road trip back in September, the best 20 minutes of the whole trip (for me) was when we stopped at Pismo Beach and got to stick a toe in the ocean. So when I heard that one of my 4 favorite aunts was headed there, I convinced her to invite me (read: invited myself. Yes I'm rude like this) to join her and her family, and I (of course) enthusiastically accepted.

Now, okay. We all know that I'm trying to try new things. Like going with the flow and being able to give up my long-standing membership to Control Freaks R Us. But as I've illustrated here many, many times before, my life in real time hardly ever resembles my life in my head. So I'm not really sure why I was so surprised that things were nothing like I'd expected.

Okay, let me lay some groundwork here. Here's what I knew. The weekend before Veteran's Day, I would be leaving at 5 pm Friday to head to Pismo Beach with my Aunt Deb, Uncle Richard, cousin Renee and cousin Jimmy and his wife Maria and their 2 boys, Devin and Hunter. Deb and Rich and Jimmy and Maria both have 5th wheel trailers that they would set up on the beach. Shortly before we went, Renee did a little research and asked me if I was down to split a hotel room, which after very little thought, I agreed. A few days before we left, I found out that my cousin Tyler and his girlfriend, Nicole and her daughter, Paris, would be joining us as well. (It's a Cousin-palooza!) And since I'm going with the flow, I don't ask a lot of logistical questions, I just pack my bags and show up with a smile on my face.

So in my head, I thought I would leave work right at 2:30 so I could come home and pack. Then we would leave at 5 on the dot, arrive in Pismo 6 hours later, where those with 5th wheels would head to the campground and set up their camp while Renee and I head to the hotel, where I stretch out on my queen sized bed and use my normal sized shower before heading to camp with just the 11 of us hanging out, walking on the beach, reading in the sun (okay that one's more just me), eating like mad, riding 4 wheelers (that one's definitely not me) and making s'mores around the campfire and drinking some grown-up beverages, before going back to the mo-tel, ho-tel, Holi-day Inn (this is probably only funny to Renee) and starting all over again.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

That Friday at work, I forgot I had a parent meeting at 2:30, which required Spanish translation, which usually means you can tack on an extra 10-15 minutes to the normal running time (because basically everything is being said twice). So I finally got home at 3:25, needing to be at the designated meeting spot between 4 and 4:30. And I need to pack clothes, shoes, toiletries, books and magazines and my lawn chair. Oh and I need to find the bags I'm gonna use to put all this stuff in. So one mini-hurricane later, I'm throwing my things in the trunk and frantically caling my mom because for some reason, I don't have Deb's number and I need to let her know that at 4:19 pm, I'm heading to the store to buy snacks, and then over to pick my mom up so that she can drop me off at the designated meeting spot, AKA Deb, Rich and Renee's house, and that obviously, I am not going to make it between the 4 and 4:30 window. While I'm at the store, mom calls me back and says, no worries, Deb says they're running behind too.

Okay, deep breath.

So I arrive at the house and find out that we are waiting on Rich and Jimmy, two very key players here, to return from the Santa Rosa area on their way back from a funeral. But no worries, they just called and they just left. And have a 3 hour drive ahead of them. On a Friday. With traffic.

Sigh.

One yummy Chinese food dinner and 2 hours of Food Network later, we are ready to rock! So we all pile in and head out. At 8:30-ish. And we are caravaning, with Renee and I in her truck in between the 2 trailers. And I promptly fall asleep. (Poor Renee.) So I wake up at 12:45-ish when we make a stop in Kettleman City. About 2-ish we make it to an RV stopping place where both trailers fill up their water compartments, which took no less than 30 or so minutes (it's a little foggy since I kept nodding off). Then we head to the campground where in order to make it through the sand, both trailers and the trucks pulling them have to "air down", which basically means letting air out of every single tire, so that they don't bog down in some of the softer areas of sand. Which takes another 15 mintues or so. And we drive down the Sand Highway and pass trailer after trailer and campsite after campsite. About 1/3 of the way down, Jimmy finds friends of his and Maria's and they set up camp there. Somewhere along the way, it was revealed that Renee and I would be sleeping in Deb and Rich's trailer for that night, as we couldn't check-in to the hotel until later on Saturday. I haven't a clue as to how long it took to set up camp, as I was fast asleep in Renee's truck, until she wrenched the door open and asked me if I was planning to sleep in the truck all night. At 4 a.m. So in a semi-conscious state, I utilize the mini-facilities of the trailer and crash out on my side of the bed (Renee and I got to share).

Christ on a cracker. So far, this resembles absolutely nothing I saw in my head. Because did I mention? While technically we are on Pismo Beach, we are not actually in the town of Pismo? We are in Oceano at the Oceano Dunes State Vehicular Recreation Area. Where apparently we are there during some sort of "weekend", because there are trailers and tents and people and kids and dogs and ATV's of all shapes and sizes, as far as the eye can see. And it is now 9 am, we can't check into the hotel until 3 pm and nothing has gone as planned (at least from my perspective).

So I go to my happy place, AKA sitting down with a book. A funny book at that (God ♥ Stephanie Plum!) So by the time we leave to go to the hotel, I'm in much better spirits (even though I had a near death experience when I almost whacked my head on the towel bar in the trailer's bathroom when I was standing up after a pee), and while the hotel is nothing fancy, it has a big soft bed, with lots of fluffy pillows, cable tv and a bathroom that doesn't inflict claustraphobia. After settling in, and each indulging in heavenly shower, we head to Starbucks (♥) before heading back to camp. (Side note: Drinking Starbucks while on the beach fucking rocks!) By then more of Jimmy and Maria's friends have arrived, including a family I will call the Whiners, because the little boy whined like mad, and because I'm so awful with names, I couldn't tell you their real names anyway. So we have a yummy hotdog/hamburger dinner before sitting down to the campfire.

This is the inside of a washing machine. Fucking genius, I tell ya.

So after some s'mores Renee and I head back and have a comfy night's sleep. But she says I snored. And I say that she coughed a lot. Because did I mention? That like 5 of the 11 folks are sick? With a wretched cold? That aside, it was a very nice to have the comforts of a hotel room.

So next morning, after another Starbucks run, we head back to the Dunes. Where, despite all the people there, we are doing the things I thought we would. Hurray! I'm reading and chilling and eating and then I go for a walk on the beach.

See, here I am.

These guys kept following me.

How can that not make you happy?

By the time I got back from my 3 mile (!) meandering down the beach, yet another family joined our group, a family I'll call the Hellions, because again, that's what their kids were and I couldn't tell you their real names anyway. But after a yummy steak dinner and more s'mores, we headed back for another comfy night.

And I woke up with a little tickle in the back of my throat. Oh no. By the end of the day I was sniffling and sneezing and not really happy about it. But before that, on our way in we saw this guy

Maria said he came ashore because he was sick. I think he was just saying "What's up?"

And I was able to go down to the water again, this time with a group, but it was still very nice.

See, here I am again. Sort of

Here are the kids looking for...shells I guess

:) !

So by the time we got back to the hotel, I was in full-fledged sick mode. Boo.

We get up a little later than usual the next morning, but we know we only have until 11 before we have to check-out. Being full-fledged sick with wretched cold, however, my main objective at this point is to just get home and into my own bed. So we head to the campsite where everyone in our group is packing up. Then they have to dig out the trucks and trailers, drive out of the campground, air up (think the opposite of air down), and dump the water that wasn't used all before we can get on the road. This entire process took about 60+ minutes, while in my head, we would leave the sand and be off (will I never learn?).

Basically slept the entire ride (Again, poor Renee) to Kettleman City, where we stopped for a bite and I ate a grand total of 1/2 of a $1 Fruit and Yogurt parfait (which is the equivalent of nothing) before dragging myself back to the truck and falling fast asleep. Woke up around Tracy and we made it back to Deb, Rich and Renee's house all in one piece. Mom came and picked me up and I was able to collapse into my fabulous, comfortable bed in a Nyquil fog.

So what did I learn on this trip?

• Ask questions. Lots of them

• Standing downwind of the campfire means you will smell like a campfire

• Hotel camping is the only way to go

• When half the people around you are sick, including your roomie, there is no doubt you will catch it

• S'mores are a little piece of heaven, right here on earth

• The ocean has magical soul-healing powers (but I think I might have already known that)

• But sand in your eyes does not