First, as promised, a pie update:
As previously mentioned, I was in put in charge of dessert. Though there were only 4 of us coming to lunch, 4 pies were requested: pumpkin, pecan, pineapple cream and coconut cream. That's a whole lotta pie. So I said, Why not combine the pineapple and coconut and call it pina colada pie? So now we're down to 3 pies. Still a whole lotta pie, but I thought What would the Pilgrims do? And then made 3 pies.
So without going into too much detail, I made the pumpkin pie using a Martha Stewart recipe, the pecan using a Joy of Cooking recipe and the pina colada pie came from my head. After a fabulous lunch and a few minutes whipping up the fresh whipped cream, we sat down for the taste test. Mom, Grandma and I sat down to the pie sampler platter (Dad was in a tryptophan coma while the football game watched him.) The pecan pie tasted fabulous, but the filling did not set properly. Boo. The pumpkin was waaaaay too spicy for me; too much ginger and nutmeg I guess. And the center was set, but really soft. I like the really solid, unmoving kind of pumpkin pie. Double boo. So, the winner was...the pina colada pie. Creamy pudding, tangy pineapple and sweet toasted coconut. The only thing missing was the paper umbrella.
Shifting gears to Black Friday. First of all, are people fucking insane? Is Black Friday really that serious? It's enough to make a die-hard Black Friday-er like myself stay home next year. Ack.
Also, after 8 years of doing this, I had an epiphany that Black Friday was invented by a smart lady who just wanted an excuse to burn off all the calories she consumed from the day before.
Anyway, I had found something I wanted to get for my parents at a fabulous price in the Walmart ad and decided I'd start there when they opened at 5 a.m. So I set my alarm clock for 3:30 a.m. (yes, you read that right) and got to Walmart by 4:43 a.m. The line started at the doors and snaked along the side of the building, around the 6 store strip mall that is next to it, past the JC Penney and almost to my beloved Food 4 Less by the time I get there. The line extended all the way to Food 4 Less by the time we started moving. And I stepped into chaos at it's worst. Okay maybe not it's worst considering no one got fucking trampled to death. But still. What a sea of humanity. Then, despite my scouring the department of the gift I'm searching for and asking a mildly crazed floor employee, it's not there. Boo and 3/4. So I abandoned cart and jumped ship an hour after I got there without a thing, sneaking out the Garden Center exit.
This is entirely too much to deal with without a drop of caffeine in my system. This calls for a Starbucks run.
One shaken green iced tea, no syrup, extra ice later, I'm in Stockton in search of my back up plan. Eventually I end up at Circuit City, where the line was exponentially shorter and much more entertaining, as I got to see 3 different people trip over those concrete parking lot thingies. (Is it really that early in the morning? Or are you really that focused on getting into the line before someone else that you don't notice a big piece of concrete sticking up and out of the ground?) I found some stuff there, though I'm not exactly sure they were worth waiting in the long ass check-out line for, but whatever.
On to Best Buy, where really I was in search of the bathroom (damn green tea). The mutant guarding the entryway in front of the restrooms asked me to leave my bag (meaning my purse) in the area before entering the restrooms, where he would "watch it real close". I gave him the death stare, told him that I highly objected, and went on in anyway, while I heard him getting reprimanded that by bag they meant "shopping bags", not "purses". You fucking idiot. (Which wasn't actually said, just merely implied.)
Then to Bath & Body Works, which was more of a selfish mission, than anything else. (Did you see the fabulous V.I.P. bag?) And then on to the other mall where I found a great present (read: what she hinted for all of Thanksgiving Day) for my grandmother, and waited in line for 30 tortured minutes, as a I watched 2 small children run rampant through the store, as the mom in front of me weakly tried to contain them. All in a foreign language. And then there was the family behind me, which included the 12-year-old girl who complained that the jeans the mom "made" her get were too heavy to hold in this really long line. Ungrateful brat.
So I was home by noon, with 90% of my shopping done. (Yay!) But not feeling so hot about the human race. Tramplings?! Shootings?! In addition to the fact that the words "Excuse me", "Sorry" or even "My bad" seem to have escaped most people's vocabularies. Which is sad, considering I heard my 7-year-old little cousin say it the other day. (Big props to Gert and Ruby on that one...kids with manners, imagine that.) Also? My purse is not that big, so there is no reason why you should keep bumping it!!!! And lady behind me? Any particular reason you are so fucking close to me? Does the concept of personal space mean anything to you? If you said excuse me I might move. Also I'm sure I could summon up some lingering wretched cold germs if you'd really like me to share.
So another Black Friday is behind us...At this rate it may be my last...
(p.s. Reading this over, I realize that I overuse the word "fabulous". I'll work on that.)
As previously mentioned, I was in put in charge of dessert. Though there were only 4 of us coming to lunch, 4 pies were requested: pumpkin, pecan, pineapple cream and coconut cream. That's a whole lotta pie. So I said, Why not combine the pineapple and coconut and call it pina colada pie? So now we're down to 3 pies. Still a whole lotta pie, but I thought What would the Pilgrims do? And then made 3 pies.
So without going into too much detail, I made the pumpkin pie using a Martha Stewart recipe, the pecan using a Joy of Cooking recipe and the pina colada pie came from my head. After a fabulous lunch and a few minutes whipping up the fresh whipped cream, we sat down for the taste test. Mom, Grandma and I sat down to the pie sampler platter (Dad was in a tryptophan coma while the football game watched him.) The pecan pie tasted fabulous, but the filling did not set properly. Boo. The pumpkin was waaaaay too spicy for me; too much ginger and nutmeg I guess. And the center was set, but really soft. I like the really solid, unmoving kind of pumpkin pie. Double boo. So, the winner was...the pina colada pie. Creamy pudding, tangy pineapple and sweet toasted coconut. The only thing missing was the paper umbrella.
Shifting gears to Black Friday. First of all, are people fucking insane? Is Black Friday really that serious? It's enough to make a die-hard Black Friday-er like myself stay home next year. Ack.
Also, after 8 years of doing this, I had an epiphany that Black Friday was invented by a smart lady who just wanted an excuse to burn off all the calories she consumed from the day before.
Anyway, I had found something I wanted to get for my parents at a fabulous price in the Walmart ad and decided I'd start there when they opened at 5 a.m. So I set my alarm clock for 3:30 a.m. (yes, you read that right) and got to Walmart by 4:43 a.m. The line started at the doors and snaked along the side of the building, around the 6 store strip mall that is next to it, past the JC Penney and almost to my beloved Food 4 Less by the time I get there. The line extended all the way to Food 4 Less by the time we started moving. And I stepped into chaos at it's worst. Okay maybe not it's worst considering no one got fucking trampled to death. But still. What a sea of humanity. Then, despite my scouring the department of the gift I'm searching for and asking a mildly crazed floor employee, it's not there. Boo and 3/4. So I abandoned cart and jumped ship an hour after I got there without a thing, sneaking out the Garden Center exit.
This is entirely too much to deal with without a drop of caffeine in my system. This calls for a Starbucks run.
One shaken green iced tea, no syrup, extra ice later, I'm in Stockton in search of my back up plan. Eventually I end up at Circuit City, where the line was exponentially shorter and much more entertaining, as I got to see 3 different people trip over those concrete parking lot thingies. (Is it really that early in the morning? Or are you really that focused on getting into the line before someone else that you don't notice a big piece of concrete sticking up and out of the ground?) I found some stuff there, though I'm not exactly sure they were worth waiting in the long ass check-out line for, but whatever.
On to Best Buy, where really I was in search of the bathroom (damn green tea). The mutant guarding the entryway in front of the restrooms asked me to leave my bag (meaning my purse) in the area before entering the restrooms, where he would "watch it real close". I gave him the death stare, told him that I highly objected, and went on in anyway, while I heard him getting reprimanded that by bag they meant "shopping bags", not "purses". You fucking idiot. (Which wasn't actually said, just merely implied.)
Then to Bath & Body Works, which was more of a selfish mission, than anything else. (Did you see the fabulous V.I.P. bag?) And then on to the other mall where I found a great present (read: what she hinted for all of Thanksgiving Day) for my grandmother, and waited in line for 30 tortured minutes, as a I watched 2 small children run rampant through the store, as the mom in front of me weakly tried to contain them. All in a foreign language. And then there was the family behind me, which included the 12-year-old girl who complained that the jeans the mom "made" her get were too heavy to hold in this really long line. Ungrateful brat.
So I was home by noon, with 90% of my shopping done. (Yay!) But not feeling so hot about the human race. Tramplings?! Shootings?! In addition to the fact that the words "Excuse me", "Sorry" or even "My bad" seem to have escaped most people's vocabularies. Which is sad, considering I heard my 7-year-old little cousin say it the other day. (Big props to Gert and Ruby on that one...kids with manners, imagine that.) Also? My purse is not that big, so there is no reason why you should keep bumping it!!!! And lady behind me? Any particular reason you are so fucking close to me? Does the concept of personal space mean anything to you? If you said excuse me I might move. Also I'm sure I could summon up some lingering wretched cold germs if you'd really like me to share.
So another Black Friday is behind us...At this rate it may be my last...
(p.s. Reading this over, I realize that I overuse the word "fabulous". I'll work on that.)
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