I Hate This

How do you explain to a 9 year old that the reason you haven't seen him in a long time is because his mother hates your guts?

Shut the Fuck Up

I'm talking to you, Kanye. And you too, Joe Wilson. (Just for good measure).

I am sick and goddamned tired of people just spouting off whenever the urge strikes them. I'm all for free speech, but there is a time and place.

Time and place!!!

Either one of them could have had a little self-restraint (and some goddamn self-respect) and waited until they were in front of one of the gagillions of media folks and had their say.

Instead, they get to go through the rest of their days as "that guy" who really, bottomline, just embarrassed themselves.

Douchebags

Did this parent just drunk-email me?

This is an email I received upon my return from work after the holiday weekend:


From: xxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Sent: Friday, September 04, 2009 9:17 PM
To: Kristen (Tokay High)
Subject: Parent of xxxxxxxxxx

I would like to make an a pointment with u about my sons grads and stuff
e-mail me or call me at 209 570-xxxx thank u I would like it on a monday
any time would be good


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


Let's begin, shall we?

1. He sent it at 9:17 p.m. Friday for an appointment on Monday? Which was also a holiday? Really?
2. I hid the kid's name, but trust me, he misspelled it. Let's say it again...He. Misspelled. His. Own. Kid's. Name. I understand that predictive text is nobody's friend, but seriously?
3. Capitalization? Spelling? Punctuation? Ever hear of these things?
4. Are we talking about more than one child? "my sons" suggests we are.
   
5. This should be an interesting conversation, since I'm not really sure what "grads and stuff" are.

So I hesitantly, but politely replied:

From: Kristen (Tokay High)
To: xxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Parent of xxxxxxx
Sent: Sep 8, 2009 8:07 AM

Good morning,

My week this week is fairly open, with the exception of Friday, when I
will be off campus all day. Next Monday I have time between 7:30 a.m.
and 9:30 a.m., then between 12:30 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. Please let me know
what works for you.



To which, he replied:


I don't work on mondays so that's the only day I have opend so any time
is good just let me know pleases. Thank u so much xxxxxxxx



Ugh...this is bad...Don't get me wrong, I totally love technology and how email is yet another way that parents can communicate with us (because, honestly? I hate talking on the phone), but not if I'm subjected to "LOL speak", poor grammar/punctuation, etc.

At least I have something to look forward to on Monday.

This Makes Me Want to Punch Somebody (But then again, what doesn't?)

Since I started back to work, I usually run my air conditioner from when I come home from work until I'm getting ready for bed, just to get the cool air moving throughout the apartment, so it's cool enough for me to sleep. Last night was such a lovely evening, I actually turned off the a/c and opened up the front windows and door...nice breeze...no loud children...the smell of garbage...

Say what??

Oh that's right. My next-door-neighbor currently has not one but two open bags of garbage sitting on her side next to our shared laundry room door. And last time I checked, her garbage can was not overflowing (especially considering yesterday was garbage day), so I am PERPLEXED beyond belief as to why, why, why this is the case.

Why don't I just ask her about it, you ask?

Let's count the ways...

1. She has that rail-thin, bleached-blonde, crack-whore look about her. Those kinda folks are already a little jumpy and impulsive, so you never know when she might pull a shank on me, or ransack my apartment for drug money. So I try to to interact with her as little as possible, and usually consists of some sort of brief greeting in the laundry room.
   
2. I have heard her on more than on occasion going off on her kid...nothing like abusive, but just like ragging on him...oh and he's like 7, so off course there's no reason why he should be making any mistakes, right?
3. There always seems to be "other people" hanging around at her place. Taking in to account her rail-thin, bleached-blonde, crack-whore appearance, you can only imagine the kind of characters these "other people" are. So it's a little scary sometimes.

So let's review...she's a hard, potentially drugged-out woman with a ferocious temper and a number of equally hard, potentially drugged-out friends.

So the bottom line is that something drastic will need to occur before I consider confronting her. That may make me a wuss, but I trust me, I'm secure in my wuss-dom. I'm hoping that when the landlord comes to get the rent checks he will see this and lay the landlord smackdown (as much as a 70+ year old landlord can, I mean).

So, okay.

I know, I know. It's been forever and a half since I posted last. And I'm saying here and now that I'm going to work on it.

What have I been so busy doing you ask?

Well let's see...

I had jury duty, which was a blast (see below). I spent some time cleaning my shoes (see below again).

And last we spoke I was gearing up for unemployment. Well in a wonderful turn of events, I was reinstated AND back at Tokay, which was just icing on the cake. Hurray! So I spent much of my time off moving from my office to one with a window (Suh-weet! And would be even sweeter if I actually remembered to open the blinds LOL) and getting all of that settled.

Also, I spent some time house-sitting for one of my aunties, which essentially meant I got to spend 3 days lounging in her swimming pool (the only thing missing was the cabana boy, despite my efforts).

Then I spent a week commuting back and forth to Sacramento with some colleagues for a conference/training/workshop/propaganda-spreading time for AVID, which was fun, productive, entertaining, heart wrenching, expensive and exhausting all at the same time.

Then I was back to work (Yahoo!). Our team this year includes "The Boys" from last year, John and Victor, Erica, who was with us for part of a year during the mold year, and Rose, who transferred over from a different high school. We have all been struggling with our new computer program the district has implemented to maintain student records. This program was created by the devil himself (and I'm being nice), and I've had to stop myself a gagillion times from chucking my computer out of my new window. Especially? On the first day of school? When we realized that any student who had been enrolled since last spring? Was suddenly lost in cyberspace? And didn't have a schedule? At. All. That was REALLY fun.

The first three weeks of school are full of schedule changes, unhappiness, unreasonableness, indecisiveness, relentlessness, and mistake after mistake after mistake because so much of what we're doing with this new program is learned on the job and by trial and error.

This last week has been like catching our breath as we are settling in to the new semester. So I am ready to share all of my shenanigans with you as the school year continues. Because 1) I've already agreed to sell football tickets (on the caveat that I only work with Jodie), and 2) this year will no doubt have it's ups and downs as the district already knows it's $13 million in the hole, and we're only 7 weeks into the fiscal year.

But all I can say is Bring It On!!!

So. Not. Pleased.

Digging apple scented green gum out of $30 flip flops is definitely NOT the way to endear me to the puke-head kids who live here. Grrrr!!

Kristen Goes to Jury Duty

Back in March, I received a notice for Jury Duty. They wanted me to call in 3 weeks to find out if I should report. 3 weeks?! I don't remember my weekly nail appointment half the time, let alone something in 3 weeks? Needless to say, I promptly forgot all about it. Late April, I received a green postcard stating they knew I hadn't reported for Jury Duty and they were giving me a second chance. Ya-freaking-hoo. Just out of spite, I "forgot" about this one too. Gawd, take a hint. Then at the beginning of June, they had to get nasty and start talking about "warrants" and "appearing in front of the judge". Yikes.

Alright, already. Sheesh.

So I called and rescheduled my time to come down for June 18th. And this was like a week in advance, and I seriously almost forgot about it again. (This is why libraries and video rental places love me)

The last time my mother had Jury Duty, she took the bus, which will pick you up at various stops throughout Lodi, and then drop you off practically at the courthouse front door in Stockton. Now I've been to the courthouse in Stockton before (sightseeing, of course), so it's not like I didn't know how to get there. And yes I know parking is a pain, but you don't live through 7 years of Sac State parking and come out unskilled. But she was such an advocate for it, even going with me to get a schedule from the station, that I relented. (In hindsight, I realized I took advice from someone who's relatively frightened to drive in LODI, but I digress) (Love you, Mommas!)

I had to be at the courthouse by 8 a.m. The closest bus stop was about a block and a half away from my apartment. So at 6:45 a.m., armed with a bag filled with magazines, a book, my headphones, a notebook, the bus schedule and snacks, I find myself at the stop where 6 other people are already waiting. Promptly, the bus arrives...and it's already pretty full. My stop was the second stop. WTF? Who knew so many people rode the bus? (Obviously, not me)

So I'm riding in an un-air conditioned bus (did I mention that it was the hottest day of the month so far?), sideways, since all the facing-front seats are taken. Not. Pleased.

In an attempt to not look like a bus riding novice, I do what practically everyone else under 50 is doing...putting on my headphones and listening to some tunes while the bus heaves and sways its way on down the road. At the remaining Lodi stops more and more people are getting on, and no one seems to be getting off. Again, who knew?

So I get to the courthouse in one piece and now must go through the metal detectors. Question? Why the hell must I take off my belt? Has this always been the case, or is this some sort of post-9/11-slash-judge stabbing reactionary tactic? (Maybe they don't make sightseers take off their belts?) If I'd known, I'd not have worn the one pair of capris I own which actually require a belt (unless I feel like letting folks in on Kristen's Secret).

I head down to the jury room, where we all sign in, complete a paper with our phone number and our employer information and get our jury badges (We don't need no stinkin' badges!) Then I find a seat with a good eye line to one of many flat screen tvs positioned around the room. Flat screen tvs (plural)?? Glad to see my tax dollars at work. But at least the seats are fairly comfy, squishy chairs. And there is free coffee and tea in the back. And there is a Java Stop right next door with snacks and specialty coffees. Maybe this won't be so bad.

Ugh. I lied. I get a free coffee and realize quickly it is free for a reason. Bitter, despite my 3 sugar packets. And WTF, San Joaquin County...multiple flat screen tvs, but no Splenda in sight?

So I get situated and start reading a book, while intermittently texting the Moms about how lame this all is. At one point, just to ensure I don't burn through my book too quickly, I look around. In addition to the flat screens, they have inspirational Jury Duty posters up with sayings like, "It's not fair if you're not there" and "Somebody has to...Be somebody". Nice. I know I'm inspired!!

About an hour into it, the Jury Duty desk lady gets on the horn and starts jabbering on about keeping the room clean and other rules of the jury room; and the schedule of the day: we're going to watch a video, then take a break, and then we should know if we are going to get called in to a case at about ten minutes to 11. WTF? Oh, and they can keep us until 5 p.m. Double WTF?

So we watch the Jury Duty propaganda video about why it is so fabulous to serve on a jury, then take a 10 minute break. Then some lame tv. Did you know that the Today Show takes an hour long hiatus for Live! with Regis and Kelly? Aaarrrgh! Then at 10:55, they call me and 5 others up to the counter. We've all been excused! Thank Christ.

And to think I don't get to do this again until after January 1, 2011.

Too Hot to Sleep, So Let's Blog!

So as many of you already know, I was recently served with a notice from LUSD that my services were no longer required for the 2009/10 school year.

To be perfectly honest, I was pretty much expecting it, but still, when you see it there in black and white, it feels like a punch to the gut. Especially considering it has absolutely nothing to do with my performance, dedication or work ethic. The bottom line is the almighty buck. But it is still very difficult not to take it personal.

Though this is the district's word right now, there are many things that could change this.

If the election goes through next week and ALL propositions are passed, this could allocate more funds for education and therefore people could be offered a job back.

Also, the California Department of Education recently announced the amount of money each district in the state should receive from the Feds. According to them, LUSD should get over $7 million. As my friend Melody says, "How much do you make, for god's sake?"

And finally, it's unclear if the district has taken into account any retirees this year. So far, only one counselor has completed paperwork for retirement this year (my dear colleague, Pat), however, there are a few counselors who are close to retirement age who may decide to take the plunge.

The silver lining to this (if there is one), is that the district is required by law to contact those who've been laid off first, within the next 39 months, if there is an opening. The mantra for this is "Last fired (i.e. she with most seniority), first hired".

Well guess who's last fired?

So there is some hope.

I guess.

Because while all of this may get me a job back, it doesn't necessarily mean my job at Tokay back. Which is what I want most.

But at this point, just a job would be nice.

Every Woman...

Every woman should have…

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour

A youth she’s content to leave behind

A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra

One friend who always makes her laugh…and one who lets her cry

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family

Eight matching dinner plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored

A feeling of control over her own destiny

Every woman should know…

How to fall in love without losing herself

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship

When to try harder and when to walk away

That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents

That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over

What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more

How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it

Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally

Where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table, or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…or a year…


(from some random email I received, but still find inspiring)

Oh, Those Crazy Kids

I concur with every word of this already posted blog, so I thought I'd just post the link for your viewing pleasure.

I'm a Pizza Whore

Since I was recently called out on being "lazy, Lazy, LAZY" on the blogging, I thought I would tear myself away from...doing nothing, and post up. So here goes...


Hi, everyone. My name is Kristen and I'm a pizza whore.

This is something that only recently came to light. For me at least. I've always said, in jest, that pizza is one of those things that I could eat daily. I didn't thing that was something I would actually do until I was having a little early morning, in-the-shower introspection.

Since Easter Sunday (i.e. 6 days ago), I have eaten pizza 8 separate times.

So help me.

Let me break it down:

Easter Sunday, after a fabulous BBQ lunch, I came home and started watching some tube. A commercial came on for the Pizza Hut Panormous for $10. So this is my internal dialogue:

"I'm kinda hungry. And it's only 10 bucks. And they'll deliver it to me, so I don't have to leave again. Hell yeah! Let's get some pizza!"

So I called and because they're not a franchise (or some sort of bullshit), it's not $10 but $12.

"That's still a helluva deal. And I'm already committed to this idea of the Panormous. Do it! Do it!"

So I proceed to order. And he tells me the total and I remember that there will of course be a delivery charge. Oh, and I'll tip the guy.

So now my $10 pizza is now closer to $20.

"Blast!"

Pizza Dude finally gets here and pulls out a gigantic box. I believe I even said to him, "Seriously?"

The Panormous lives up to its name. It is 2 9x13 pan pizzas. In 1 box. Oh holy Christ.

I proceed to eat pizza for dinner on Sunday, breakfast on Monday, dinner on Monday and breakfast on Tuesday.

"Finally, finally. I. Am. Done."

On Wednesday, Ron and I went to eat. Since arguing about food with him is something I'm no longer obligated to do, he went to my fave pizza place ever, Dante's California Pizza. Where I proceeded to eat pizza. Again.

On Thursday, Rick's Pizza was sponsoring fundraisers for Tokay Band AND Tokay Baseball. Oh hell. Here we go again. And of course there were leftovers, so I had that for Friday's breakfast.

Friday...one of my favorite people is home for the weekend. And she suggests we go for pizza and beer at another one of my fave pizza places, Pizza Works. And so help me, I said yes.

And then she said I could have the leftovers.

"I think I just heard the leftovers whisper my name."


*sigh*

I Think God Hates Me

First, I just wanna say that I'm writing this post-Lodi Spring Wine Show, so pardon me if my 3 hours of drinking gets in the way of the coherence of this post.

So even though it's not the first of the month yet, apparently we have a new tenant in the apartment next to mine, which as been vacant since my "Sound of Silence" blog. Which was back in October.

I think it's safe to say that I've been loving not having a neighbor for practically 6 months.

Well, new tenant also apparently has 2-3 children. Boy children. Boy children between the ages of 5 and 8.

Blah.

And these boy children have teamed up with the relatively new other neighbor in #1's boy child. Who is precocious and annoying at the same time. And who has taken a liking to me, since they first moved in when I answered his question about the cat that wanders about. And talked to me the other night when I was making nice to his mom when she let me use her phone when I locked myself out.

Blah blah.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind children. I don't mind boy children. But if this afternoon is any indication as to what the future holds, they're pretty loud boy children. Not Loudest Little Boy in the World loud, but still loud. Much louder than one little boy playing alone and not having a next door neighbor for 6 months loud.

Okay, I've kinda forgotten the point to this post, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.

Good night.

UPDATE: Ugh. They have a yappy dog too.

I'm an Idiot

A friend from work advertised and signed up a few of us to tour local plants to get an idea of the types of distribution jobs available in the area. I had asked for a tour of Toys R Us (Toys! Yahoo!) and General Mills (Cheerios! Yum!). Oh and did I mention that we were getting paid to participate? 150 smackers each tour. Rock on.

So Monday was the day I thought was the Toys tour; however, I had an eye doctor appointment, and wasn't able to get down to Stockton in time. And according to my phone calendar, which is my lifeline to what I'm doing each day, today was the day to go to General Mills for a tour of the plant. One caveat of the General Mills tour is that it started an hour sooner than the other tours, which meant being there at 7:30. Which is really no biggie, considering I'm usually an hour into my work day by then.

So this morning did not start off great. I had set my alarm for 5:00 a.m., so I had time to snooze and still be ready on time. However, I woke up at 4:23 a.m. after a bad dream. (I was at my parent's house and it was on fire. But I knew it wasn't their house because my room was upstairs. I couldn't decide what I wanted to take with me, though I knew that the majority of my things were somewhere other than the house. And my aunt Deb was very calmly washing the dishes. And when the firemen came (after what seemed like 20 minutes -- a long time in the firefighting world) my parents' dog, Babz started barking at them. And Babz has been dead for a few years now. It was weird.) And I couldn't fall back to sleep, despite all my efforts. And then my body chimed in, namely my bladder. So I mentally said "Fuck it" and just got up.

So I got ready to go, ate something and then drove over to the mill. I got there at like 715, remembering that the emails repeatedly reiterated "Promptly at 7:30" So after waiting behind a large tractor trailer, the woman working the security booth, who bore a striking resemblance to Berta on Two and a Half Men, informed me that the tour is tomorrow, March 19th.

WTF?

So I begrudgingly come home so that I can check my work email to verify this claim.

There I find that not only is the GM tour tomorrow (which I still intend to attend), but that the Toys tour was yesterday, not Monday.

Boo, hiss.

So now, I've not only missed out on $150 because I'm an idiot (as opposed to missing it because of a schedule conflict), I'm up early today because I'm an idiot. And I am already pissed.

Now I keep wondering...is today really my salon day?

It's Easier to Ask for Forgiveness Than for Permission

So my posts since the first of the year have been limited. So I ask for forgiveness. I really only have one excuse: Work.

The first semester of school is something like a roller coaster. We start off super busy, then have a little lull. Then after Fall break things kind of ramp up again, then there's a small lull before Winter break.

The second semester of school is something like Drop Zone; it's go go go go go go go go go go, okay, it's Spring break.

The first three weeks of the semester we are making schedule changes. This is for kids who just want to try a new elective, as well as for those kids who are repeating something and need to alter their schedule to accommodate that. In between schedule changes we are registering new and returning students. Some of them are students from private school, and either weren't cutting it or they just can't afford it anymore. The returning students are coming back from a different school, either in or out of the district. For example, I had one girl come back from our Continuation school so that she can finish out the year with the peers she's gone to school with since like 1st grade.

Also, we are meeting with our Seniors to firm up their plans for being able to graduate on time, or looking at other choices, like GED or moving over to the Adult School. I hate these meetings, because if they're not going to make it, it's usually a meeting filled with disappointment and sadness that their kid couldn't do it the easy way. But I'd rather they finish something, even if it's the GED, they're not walking away empty handed. I had one parent last year (who's daughter was not going to make it if she stayed at Tokay) say that a High School Diploma was like a pair of designer jeans, while the GED was like a pair of jeans from Wal-Mart. And I replied, That may be true, but at least she would have a pair of pants. (I don't think he found that as amusing as I did)

So after schedule changes we have one weekend ( that's right, two days) before moving straight to scheduling for next year. Scheduling is always a treat (insert sarcasm). We meet with virtually every student individually to review their progress toward graduation, get them their Summer School forms, and plan for what they're gonna do next year. And if the kid's in Special Ed, then we have to make sure that their plan follows their IEP which requires input from their Case Carrier and the Department Chair. And there's a buttload of paperwork that is involved with all of this: transcripts, credit evaluations, course selection sheets, letters home, Summer School forms, AP contracts, course selection change forms. I have no doubt we've killed a few trees with this whole process.

And then we get to go out to the middle schools (I ♥ Middle School!) (Yeah, right) and talk with all of them about High School! Woo Hoo! We have one main feeder school, from where we get the majority of our incoming 9th graders and then 5 other schools that send a smaller group over to us. We can't forget 8th Grade Parent Night, where we showcase our campus, programs and activities. Not to mention our Private School Night, where parents and students from our surrounding private schools come to find out about Tokay.

Then when we get every student's class choices, the counselors get to input all of that information into the computer, so that the VP can look at what's being requested and then build the Master Schedule. And did I mention that we have a new program for our student records that we are using for next year? That we had to spend 3 hours being trained on, with more training hours to come? And that all of this inputting was due on the last day of the quarter, March 13th?

And all of this happens during the quarter when we have 3 holidays (MLK, Lincoln and President's Days), 4 minimum days (2 for Senior Project paper readings and 2 Common Planning Days), CAHSEE testing, NAEP testing (The Nation's Report card!), AVID interviews and a cold, on my part (where I missed 2 days).

Oh, and did I mention that this is also an incredibly stressful time, as the school district is needing to make cuts, so they have given notice to 419 people that they may not have a job next year? Guess who one of those 419 people were? So now in addition to all of this, I'm stressed out about whether or not I'll have a job next year.

This just keeps getting better and better!

All I can say is thank god the 3rd quarter is behind us...Hopefully 4th quarter will be much kinder

Chris Brown is a Piece of Shit

My Favorite Poem

Haven't posted in a bit, so to appease the masses, here is one of my all-time favorite poems:

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand
& chaining a soul.
& you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
& company doesn't always mean security.
& you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
& presents aren't promises
& you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up & your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child.
& you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
& futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
& decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
& you learn
that you really can endure
that you really do have worth
& you learn
& you learn
with every goodbye you learn.

CAUTION: Philosophical Rant Ahead

I'm putting you all on notice...

The next person who hears about/discusses my impending divorce and at any point makes the statement "Well at least you didn't have kids" is getting kicked squarely in the junk by yours truly.

Because really? The joke's on you, as neither of us want children. Ever, ever, ever.

(I have a hard enough time taking care of my dog, even in our joint custody arrangement)

This is not something new. I grew up with 5 younger cousins, was always the oldest kid at the after school daycare, babysat like mad, spent 6 years working at a group home for teenage boys, not to mention that currently I have 380 kids on my watch. I think it's safe to say that I'm not going into this lightly, though I initially felt my being a parent was a bad idea back when I was a teenager myself.

And really, along with that, I don't remember ever feeling that my being a wife was a good idea. But everyone around me thought it was. And so yes, I gave in to peer pressure. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to place my marriage's demise on anyone but the 2 of us involved. But I am most definitely guilty of falling in to the enthusiasm of everyone around me thinking this marriage was a good idea. And not even so much the "happily ever after" part, but the idea of a wedding. (And don't get me wrong, my wedding was one helluva party) (And also, don't think that I'm shitting all over our getting married. But he and I had a conversation about a year in and came to the conclusion that we got married essentially because our mothers both hoped we would. Which is obviously not the best reason to get married)

Now I know of and know personally plenty of people who have/had longstanding relationships without ever getting married. You also hear about those folks who are together forever, but the second that piece of paper comes into play, it's the beginning of the end.

And I can see it from both sides, as I don't think living together, let alone marriage, is for me. As previously discussed, living alone totally kicks ass (and if I had a dollar or every time I heard someone say they envied me this, I could cover my Starbucks bill for the first quarter of this new year)

I'm also a very particular person, so I like things to be just so, and I don't need someone else coming in and messing that all up. And all too often, my "only child" rears its ugly head, especially when my things aren't given the kind of consideration I would show.

I think I realize this all now, but before it just manifested as this low simmering anger that I carried around all the time, which meant I was vaguely pissed pretty much 24/7. And I think when we lived in Sacramento, it was easier to tolerate because our schedules were so completely different: ME -- graveyard shift, grad school, swing shift, internships, study sessions, weekend shift; HIM -- day shift, night shift, all nighters, etc. And at any point in time, either one of us could come to our respective parents' houses to spend over. So our time actually in the apartment together was minimal at best.

But when we made the move back home and our schedules synced, and we had no "escape route", while I still couldn't put my finger on it, it became screamingly obvious to me that this situation was not okay.

Ready for the philosophical part?

Like everything else, I believe relationships change and evolve constantly. People learn and experience so much throughout their lifetimes, how can they not? Because of this, when relationships do change, the people in them either roll with it or they don't. In our case, we chose "Don't".

Additionally, I have another longstanding belief that when it comes down to it, Love = Tolerance.

Now before you call bullshit, hear me out.

Have you ever observed someone's relationship and thought "I just don't know how he/she puts up with him/her" ? Well, I believe that's because what that person is willing to put up and what you are willing to put up with are 2 very different things.

This is also known as Tolerance.

And so when you are in a relationship, when things become Intolerable, that's when you need to make a choice of roll with it (i.e. think long and hard about what's going on and working with your partner to return things to the Tolerable state) or don't (self-explanatory).

Okay...I'm all ranted out now.

Sirius vs T-Rex

Yesterday, Ron brought Sirius over.

Here's my beautiful boy

And here he is again

And he forgot to bring Sirius a toy to entertain him. So I dug around in my bag of tricks, and came across the dinosaurs I used when I was an elementary counselor.

Let's just say, Sirius won.

Please Don't Let the Funeral Interrupt Your Call

Seriously.

I went to a funeral today. (Not someone I knew, but a good friend from work's sister.) And I had to hear at least 3 different cell phones go off. One did it twice.

Are people really that rude? Is nothing sacred anymore? People can't even be bothered to turn off their cell phones to honor the dead?!

Once again, I find myself disgusted with the human race.

I Fell Off the Wagon

Before you jump all over my case, I'd like to point out that this happened at a workshop where the only person from my district was someone I introduced myself to just this evening. So this essentially means I was in a room full of strangers, so technically I could have just kept this all to myself.

Thank you very much.

The workshop was at CSU, Stanislaus and the draw was that it was free and dinner and dessert were provided. The drawback was all they served to drink was soda.

And, god help me, I gave in.

In my defense, it was only half of one of those small plastic bar cups. Like the kind you get at weddings. And they served fajitas, rice and beans, which were not only salty but a little spicy.

But still.

And I have to say...I was completely disappointed. First of all, it was way, way, way too sweet. Ew. Second, it left me thirstier than when I started. Probably all that sodium.

Now don't get me wrong. I genuinely believe that when I first gave up soda, I had a serious problem. (If you don't believe me, ask Ron, since he got the brunt of my frustrations. And all the smelling-his-soda doing on my part.) But after this evening, I really gotta wonder--This is what I've been obsessing over for the last 3 years? Has denying myself this turned it into the larger than life thing, that in reality is really no big deal?

Nonetheless, I'm not going back to the (soda) bottle. But I've gotta say that I'm kinda glad that I did this, if for no other reason than to serve as a reminder that it's not something I want. I wouldn't recommend this approach to those of you with harder addictions, but hey, it's good to know.

Ohmagod, Ohmagod, Ohmagod

My heart is beating out of my chest, ya'll.

After an early morning of productivity, I went to the grocery store for a few things. While congratulating myself on not giving in to the urge to stay in my jammies and watch BH 90210 reruns, I put my groceries in the car and took off, intent on making a Starbucks run. I reached into the backseat, where I usually stash my purse, and it wasn't fucking there.

Ohmagod, ohmagod, ohmagod.

A quick turnaround later, I'm back in the parking lot by my abandoned cart (which, BTW, I do put in the cart corral thingy), having a near heart attack as I see that my purse is not fucking there either.

Ohmagod, ohmagod, ohmagod.

I rush into the store and find the service counter, where one of the workers sees me and asks, "Are you Kristen?" Then goes in the back and returns with my purse.

Ohthankgod, ohthankgod, ohthankgod.

Deep breath.

Now the purse itself isn't anything special, it's a vinyl clutch I got at Target on clearance and I really like it and have gotten compliments on it. But inside, I had my I.D., my check card, about $120 cash, my camera, a Starbucks gift card and a M.A.C. Plushglass.

And everything was still there!

All I have to say, is that karma is the real deal.

Back before Christmas, I went to the same store with a companion who shall remain nameless (since they come out bad in this story), and as we were walking up to the doors, I saw that someone had left her purse in her abandoned cart. And my companion encouraged me to "Put it in the car!"

And I said absolutely not, and turned it in to the service counter. I hope she was able to reclaim her purse, like I was.

I told this story to the above mentioned companion, who told me that they were glad I got my purse back, and that they had learned a good lesson.

Okay, I feel better now.

California Can Suck It

Ladies and Gentlemen, the California Legislators suck ass.

(Like you didn't already know that)

Yesterday everyone in the district had a meeting at their respective school sites where the principals got to add "bearer of bad news" to their official job description.

In case you've been living under a rock, the State of California does not have a budget for this fiscal year. Said budget was due in July.

Fucking July!!!

And shortly before Christmas, it was announced that without a budget, in roughly 70 days, the State of California would run out of money. Which for those of you who are math-challenged means about the end of February. Which is pretty goddamned soon.

So, though my employer is LUSD, my check comes from the County Office of Education, which is funded by...(wait for it)...The State of California.

So guess what?

Essentially without a budget, LUSD will run out of money. Soon. So that means that I could feasibly not get a paycheck, but rather an IOU. Soon.

WTF?!

Now keep in mind, the State of California has been issuing IOU's to its employees for sometime. Basically since they haven't had a budget. These IOU's are in the same amount as the regular paychecks, and when a budget is put forth, the banks/credit unions/other money places that honored the IOU's will receive their money, essentially having little impact on the income of these people receiving IOU's. However, word has it that many of the banks/credit unions/other money places that had been honoring IOU's will stop. Because between IOU's as tax refunds and IOU's as payment to state workers, and now IOU's for school employees throughout the state, that's a helluva lot of money that may or may not be coming in soon.

So I may be stuck with an IOU that is worth dick.

And as previously foreshadowed, my financial situation wavers between just eeking by and bleak. I am definitely not set up to live off IOU's, no matter how short a time.

Now let's stop and think about this. These California Legistlators and the Govenor have been working on this budget for a long time, with no results. If anyone else, or any other place of business worked as long as they have with nothing to show for it, what do you think would happen?

This is like if I showed up to work everyday, met with students and parents, returned emails and phone messages, attended a variety of meetings, chatted with co-workers, ate my lunch, etc. but not a single one of my seniors walked across that field to the graduation stage.

That would be completely unacceptable.

And don't even get me started on the fact that even with a budget, the money that LUSD will get from the State will not be enough. Between now and the start of the '09-'10 school year (which commences July 27, 2009), LUSD alone is looking at cutting roughly $20 million.

Double WTF?!

Not to mention that without enough money, we are looking at possible staffing cuts. Which essentially is a domino effect. And while I'm coming up on 3 years with LUSD in March, I've gotta wonder where exactly the domino will run out. And if I do withstand the domino, that doesn't mean that I'll necessarily get to stay at Tokay. Which would absolutely kill me. I so totally ♥ my school site.

Triple WTF?!

Now we've been encouraged to contact our legislators and explain to them the direness of the situation, blah, blah, blah. I'd really like to think that these kinds of things would make a difference. And maybe I'm just too bitter at this point to think positively right now. But the bottom line is that the State of California needs to get their shit together quick, fast and in a hurry, and get a freaking budget in place.