Trick or Treat?

I ♥ Halloween! I ♥ the decorations. I ♥ dressing up. I ♥ carving pumpkins. I ♥ candy, both giving and receiving (and eating, duh). I ♥ how we have a potluck at work. I don't necessarily like scary. But everything else is ♥ ♥ ♥

(It probably doesn't hurt that Halloween is also about 2 weeks post-birthday, so in a way it is the delayed after party to my birthday. And who wouldn't love that?)

Being that Halloween this year falls on a Friday, I wasn't 100% sure how I was going to fit all of my preparations in, as I have a commitment on Thursday nights. So, I decided to leave a little early from work, do a little running around, and then come home, where I made Kristen's World Famous Kick Ass Chili (patent pending) (Just kidding, I've just always wanted to say that). While that was simmering away, I decided to attack my pumpkins.

A note about my pumpkins: They came from Walmart, but only cost me $5, which in my world is an awesome steal. However, there is a reason that Walmart is selling pumpkins for $2.50. Some are rotten, most don't sit properly, almost all are misshapen, and all are dirty. It took me a good 20 minutes to find the 2 I did buy. Here are their good sides:


Here I am, totally stoked that I'm about to carve these bad boys up:

Here are the tools I will use in this battle:

The best $1 I've ever spent. These flimsy looking things shit on regular knives when it comes to pumpkins

Here I am wielding said tools:

Bitch, I will cut you

Tops are off:

And I'm going in!

Pumpkin guts are disgusting. Good thing Friday is garbage day

First pumpkin, done!


Had a couple of minutes, so I gave him some eyebrows:



Pause, to go to choir practice...

Return and make this guy:

He's no Edward Cullen, but still...

Spooky, I know

So, at work, we had the theme of "Back in the Saddle Again" and so we dressed up as cowboys. My costume, of course, rocked. (But obviously not enough for me to remember to take a picture).

One other thing I ♥ about Halloween is that there is always food around to help celebrate, including the aforementioned potluck. Here is a list of what I ate today (try not to judge too harshly):

Coffee cake
A donut
A blueberry muffin
Starbucks drink
Tortilla chips with 7 layer dip
Tortilla chips with mango salsa
Chili dog with sour cream, cheese and onions
Pasta salad
BBQ potato chips
Apple crisp with vanilla ice cream
2 cups of hot apple cider
2 bottles of water
An oatmeal cookie
Pan dulce (Still warm. Yummmmmm)
2 packs of smarties candy
A mini bagel with cream cheese
Pizza and salad. And 2 chicken wings. With ranch.
More water

(Needless to say, one of the motivators to blog is the fact that I can hardly move anything except fingers)

So I rolled home (pun intended) and put out my super sweet jack-o-lanterns and got my candy ready:

And waited...and waited...and waited...

until 7:55 when my very first (non-pizza delivery guy) trick-or-treaters arrived. And about 20 minutes later my next one came up to the door. When I finally closed the door, this is how much candy I had:

I promise you, this is a different picture

So, including the pizza guy, I had a grand total of....4 trick-or-treaters.

Blast!

Am I expecting too much here? It is a Friday night. I live right by a school for god's sake; there are definitely children in the vicinity. Granted, I know that it was raining earlier and it was a little breezy...but not between the hours of 4:15 (when I got home) and 9:00 (when I turned out the light and shut the door).

Does anyone want some candy?

Ticket to Nowhere

Even though Tokay's home football season hasn't ended yet, my tenure as a ticket seller has. And as previously stated, I was going to bitch, I mean share with all of you about my experience.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even 100% sure how I got into this in the first place. In August, I mentioned to the department's secretary, Jodie, that I'd like to attend the home football games, because 1) I like football, 2) Many of my students are involved as players or cheer/song leaders and I'd like to show my support, and 3) Many of the other staff go and talk about how much fun it is and hey, I'm trying to branch out and try some new things, and she replied, "Well that should be easy since you and I will be taking tickets at the games."

Say what?

And then, with her gentle reminding, I vaguely remembered a walk-by conversation with our Athletic Director, Jeff, who's also a teacher at Tokay, while on my way to picture day, where I believe the words, "It's a hoot" came out of Jodie's mouth (yes, god love her, she really says stuff like that. And no, she's not 80) and "Sure, why not" came out of mine.

As many of you have probably started to notice, how I think things are going to be and how they really are are two very very different things. (It's the whole idea of Theory vs. Practice. Which is essentially the story of my life. Any job I've had. College. Grad School. Marriage. Living next door to folks with small children. I think you get the picture.)

So Day 1 of Ticket Selling is a little different than normal because it's a triple header Thursday game with Frosh/JV/Varsity all playing the same evening due to the Grape Festival that weekend (normally Frosh is on Thursday and Jv/V is on Friday).. I can't be there right on time because I have a workshop at the County Office of Ed, which is way out in BFE (for those of you not up on your mid-90's slang BFE=Bum Fucked Egypt, which means out in the middle of fucking no where), so I arrive at 5, shortly before the start of JV. Jodie gives me a rundown of prices ($6 General, $4 High School, Middle School and Elementary students and Senior Citizens, 5 & under are free, as are pop warner players, band members, cheer/song leaders, and coach's significant others and families). and we're off and...broiling. It's a good 95+ degrees outside. So imagine that while in a 4'x6' wooden shack. With little ventilation. While the sun is beating down directly on said shack. At 5 p.m.!!!

I think it's safe to say I was miserable.

Additionally, since this is the first game, no one knows that the tickets cost what they do, so hardly anyone had correct change, so at some points I was doling out quarters. Also, at that point in the year, the sun didn't go down until closer to 7 p.m. and it still only brought the temperature down to the 80's, which as previously discussed, is too goddamn hot for this girl, so I left that evening sweaty, dehydrated, starving and headachy (as if my brain got overcooked and my body was trying to let me know)

The remaining 3 games I worked were similar, though now pop warner were only free with a paid adult admission (which we had to enforce that first night on 2 little boys who were savvy enough to convince a couple to let them tag along). The second game was still an inferno, but people were starting to get the hang of the prices, at least. The 3rd game was the first night of the incredibly high winds and it was the complete opposite of the first game. Jodie called her husband, begging for Starbucks, which worked better as handwarmers than anything else. I did actually stay for that game since half my family were on the Away side (But metal bleachers + high winds = ice cube ass).

My final game was last night, and Jodie had an appointment and couldn't make it, so I was stuck with a different Ticket Seller, who had done just about every other type of event, just not football, and whom I'm conviced is dumber than a rock (which is sad considering she works on our campus), as evidenced by her lack of (for lack of a better term) social graces, screeching "I can help someone here" at the couple who are paying together at my window, or her calling out to people"Helloooo" in the "Oh my god, you are retarded" kind of way, rather than the "Hi. I'm trying to get your attention" kind of way. Oh and I can't forget about when she said she was running out of ones, and so should she use the money under the cash drawer (Um, yes, sweetie, WTF do you think that's for? Decoration?!)

So let's review some of the high points of Ticket Selling, shall we?

• Little shack + hot weather = Kristen unhappy

• Little shack + cold winds = Kristen unhappy

• Kristen only works well with intelligent individuals

• People like to shoot the messenger. I am not the person responsible for ticket prices. I am just the one to enforce them. P.S. I don't give a shit about last year

• People think they are funny. Don't say you're a Senior Citizen when you are really 20, and don't say it when you're like 47 and I'll start to give you that ticket and you say "Just kidding!"

• People are rude. When I say "Hi, how are you?" or attempt to engage them in any way, more often than not, I get a blank stare.
  

• People think I'm a mind reader. Don't assume I know that you are a Senior Citizen, a general, have 2 more in your party who you're paying for, or that your kid is under 5. Because ya know what? I would bet I'd guess wrong.

• Kids are dumb. If you are a student, say so. It doesn't matter if you don't go to Tokay. It doesn't matter if you don't go to an LUSD school. We'll give you the Student price. You just have to open your mouth. And. Say. So. (As previously mentioned, I'm not a mind reader)

• People treat their money horribly. (Perhaps that's truly what's wrong with the economy...bad money karma) They fold it, crinkle it, ball it up, keep it all mixed up by denomination, and then they just throw it at you and expect you to unfold, uncrinkle, unball it for them. Which also falls under the "People are rude" category.
  

• Just because you sell tickets at football doesn't mean you get to watch football. The announcers are barely understandable in the stands, let alone in the booth. And we don't close up until halftime of the Varsity game. So basically you have no idea what's going on, and the last half of the game for our team is usually not that exciting (usually because we are losing)

So in conclusion (sorry to sound all 5 paragraph essay on ya -- but I am writing this as I sit in a classroom, proctoring the ACT), I don't know if football ticket selling is for me. I'd much rather exercise my right as a staff to get into the game for free, at the time I choose, most likely when it's close to a temp I find tolerable, and actually watch the game with my own 2 eyes, in it's entirety. Then again...at least basketball ticket sales are indoors...

You Know...

A recap of my Monday:

You know it might be a bad day when you realize you put your underpants on inside out. (Though definitely not as bad as the first time you tried thong underwear, and suffered through an hour before realizing you had them on sideways). (Shut up).

You know it might be an interesting discussion when a parent drops in on you, sits down, and starts the conversation by announcing "Well you know you have a fat ass when you don't fit in the chair."

You know it might be a heart wrenching day when one of your favorite students comes in and says "I don't have a place to live." Or you find out that same day that 2 of your other students are homeless too.

You know it might be an unproductive day when you have 2 meetings to go to and you're the only participant who's on time.

You know that there's just no pleasing some people when you hear about a teacher who has a brand new classroom with ample space, and fabulous amenities, but still complains that there's no place to put books.

You know that it's good to have a sense of humor when you have to deal with all of these things dressed as a cavewoman. (God ♥ Spirit Week!)

They say it's your birthday...

So as of right this second, it is officially my birthday, and I am officially 31 years old (though I'm sure my mother might argue that technically, 31 years ago, she was just getting settled into the hospital at this point and I didn't make my grand entrance until 7:49 a.m., but let's not split hairs).

So another year older, another year wiser?

Perhaps.

I can honestly say that I am not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. But as a friend recently pointed out to me, there's really no deadline for things to happen in life. And, this is my life, right? So it's not like other people are trying to hold me to deadlines (and if they are...well, then fuck 'em).

There are still a gagillion things I'd like to do in this life...things to learn, places to explore, people to meet, experiences to have...So what the fuck am I waiting for?

Obviously, I'm not getting any younger. LOL

The Sound of Silence

I'm sitting here in my apartment, and for the first time in the 4 months that I've been here, I'm enjoying the quiet. When I first moved in, my landlord (whom my mother insists on calling Donald Hollinger. Which is only funny if you are up on your That Girl) told me that my neighbor had 2 kids, an 11 year old boy and a "little boy". Okay. I'm in the kid business, so no biggie, right?

Wrong.

Oh god, so very wrong.

"Little Boy" is about 3 years old. Little Boy still wears diapers (which I know because only until very recently (read: when the weather started to turn), he would run around in a t-shirt and diaper, or just a diaper. And. That's. It.). Little Boy has 2 volumes: Loud and Louder. Which is how Little Boy got christened with his full name, The Loudest Little Boy In The World.

I don't think Little Boy knows how to talk. Whine? Sure. Cry? Yep. Yell? Definitely. Scream Bloody Murder? Absolutely. But talk? Can't say I've ever heard that. And the Screaming Bloody Murder part seems to be his favorite form of expression, since he does that when he's happy, sad, excited, frustrated, joyful, pissed, or any other feeling a small child may experience. And he expresses himself at all hours of the day. And night. (You have no idea how many times I've been getting ready for bed, or am already there when he's still outside. Still yelling).

I must say, initially, I thought perhaps there was something wrong with Little Boy. Like a developmental delay (which back in our parents' day was called retarded). Or something along the autism spectrum (which back in our parents' day was called retarded). And while this was never confirmed or denied (only because I hadn't come up with a polite way of asking "What the fuck is wrong with your kid?"), I don't think this is the case.

Now don't get me wrong. I know kids make noise. I know kids have to learn about inside and outside voices. I know that kids have to learn the differences between appropriate and inappropriate feeling expression. But Jesus H. Christ, Little Boy is beyond all of that. And honestly, maybe it would be slightly more tolerable if the parents actually did something about it.

Let me pause here in order to paint a mental picture. My apartment "complex" consists of 4 apartments with a shared laundry room between every 2 apartments. These apartments are mirrored across the walkway by 4 identical apartments. And even thought my side's apartments have one address (1340) and the other side's have a different address (1344), the 1340 apartments are odd numbered and the 1344 apartments are even numbered. (Confused yet?) Oh and the 1340 apartments have one landlord (the aforementioned Donald Hollinger), while the 1344 apartments have a different landlord.

Okay, so Little Boy lives with his dad, AKA my neighbor. Well before I came onto the scene, my neighbor and the lady in apartment #2 (who has a 6 year old son) got together and decided they would like to cohabitate, but in order to do that, they must first find a vessel large enough for their pseudo-Brady Bunch (which is how I see them, since the kids all call the adults "Mom" and "Dad". For example, "I'm gonna tell Dad!!" ~ as not spoken by Little Boy).

Anyway, so as I mentioned, the yelling, crying and incessant screaming may have been a bit easier to swallow if the parents had some sort of strategy in place to deal with it. Okay, let me rephrase. If they had an effective strategy in place. Because they really only seem to have 2 : 1) Ignore it, and 2) Yell at him to (wait for it) Stop Yelling.

Now again, don't get me wrong. Being a parent is a hard job. So hard, it's one job I've chosen not to subject myself to. But for god's sake, if something is not working (like getting your kid to be quiet), then perhaps you should try some different approaches to get the result you want.

But I digress...

So apparently a house was recently found and this weekend, moving commenced. And while, they've monopolized the recycling bins and compromised the walkways and driveways more times than I can count this weekend, I've found that I just don't care. Because The Loudest Little Boy In The World doesn't live here anymore.

Breaking Dawn

Oh. My. God.

Finally, finally finished Breaking Dawn.

Am so, so in love with this entire story. Always a sucker for a good romance.

Again, run, don't walk to your nearest bookseller and get these books and read them!!

Can't wait for the movie next month! I've already got a date with my boo, Dee to watch it!

Your Patience is Appreciated

Bah! I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm about 3/4 of the way done with Breaking Dawn...but it's like I find every possible opportunity not to read it. It's like I don't want to know what's gonna happen. And this one has been a doozy. It seems like just when I think something else can't possibly twist the plot any more...something else happens that twists the plot even more!!!

It's a sickness, I tell ya!!!

Eclipse

Finally, finally finished Eclipse. And I'm (wo)man enough to admit that I cried often. (Though it could have just been Mother Nature and her bothersome gift. Sorry if that's a TMI).

I think I've shifted to Team Jacob a bit.

New Moon

Finished New Moon last night. Oooooh, the plot thickens...

About 1/3 of the way done with then next installment.

Will report back later...

Where are you in your Twilight saga journey? (And if you're done, please don't ruin it for me!!!)

Twilight

Read last night until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. (In fact woke up at 230 a.m. with book poking into my gut and bedside lamp ablaze). This morning, realized I was only 1.5 pages away from the Epilogue (Doh!) Started New Moon today, but haven't had much time to read; am only on Chapter 3.

Without ruining it for anybody who hasn't read them, let me just say this...

I can't imagine ever loving someone like she loves him.

Now...Go! Get to Target or Borders or B&N or Amazon and get these books (because you know the library is tapped out) and read them! You won't be disappointed.

Bloggus Interuptus

Will not post for a while. Am currently enthralled with the Twilight series. Am only on Chapter 8 of first book. This may take awhile...