Ticket to Nowhere

Even though Tokay's home football season hasn't ended yet, my tenure as a ticket seller has. And as previously stated, I was going to bitch, I mean share with all of you about my experience.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even 100% sure how I got into this in the first place. In August, I mentioned to the department's secretary, Jodie, that I'd like to attend the home football games, because 1) I like football, 2) Many of my students are involved as players or cheer/song leaders and I'd like to show my support, and 3) Many of the other staff go and talk about how much fun it is and hey, I'm trying to branch out and try some new things, and she replied, "Well that should be easy since you and I will be taking tickets at the games."

Say what?

And then, with her gentle reminding, I vaguely remembered a walk-by conversation with our Athletic Director, Jeff, who's also a teacher at Tokay, while on my way to picture day, where I believe the words, "It's a hoot" came out of Jodie's mouth (yes, god love her, she really says stuff like that. And no, she's not 80) and "Sure, why not" came out of mine.

As many of you have probably started to notice, how I think things are going to be and how they really are are two very very different things. (It's the whole idea of Theory vs. Practice. Which is essentially the story of my life. Any job I've had. College. Grad School. Marriage. Living next door to folks with small children. I think you get the picture.)

So Day 1 of Ticket Selling is a little different than normal because it's a triple header Thursday game with Frosh/JV/Varsity all playing the same evening due to the Grape Festival that weekend (normally Frosh is on Thursday and Jv/V is on Friday).. I can't be there right on time because I have a workshop at the County Office of Ed, which is way out in BFE (for those of you not up on your mid-90's slang BFE=Bum Fucked Egypt, which means out in the middle of fucking no where), so I arrive at 5, shortly before the start of JV. Jodie gives me a rundown of prices ($6 General, $4 High School, Middle School and Elementary students and Senior Citizens, 5 & under are free, as are pop warner players, band members, cheer/song leaders, and coach's significant others and families). and we're off and...broiling. It's a good 95+ degrees outside. So imagine that while in a 4'x6' wooden shack. With little ventilation. While the sun is beating down directly on said shack. At 5 p.m.!!!

I think it's safe to say I was miserable.

Additionally, since this is the first game, no one knows that the tickets cost what they do, so hardly anyone had correct change, so at some points I was doling out quarters. Also, at that point in the year, the sun didn't go down until closer to 7 p.m. and it still only brought the temperature down to the 80's, which as previously discussed, is too goddamn hot for this girl, so I left that evening sweaty, dehydrated, starving and headachy (as if my brain got overcooked and my body was trying to let me know)

The remaining 3 games I worked were similar, though now pop warner were only free with a paid adult admission (which we had to enforce that first night on 2 little boys who were savvy enough to convince a couple to let them tag along). The second game was still an inferno, but people were starting to get the hang of the prices, at least. The 3rd game was the first night of the incredibly high winds and it was the complete opposite of the first game. Jodie called her husband, begging for Starbucks, which worked better as handwarmers than anything else. I did actually stay for that game since half my family were on the Away side (But metal bleachers + high winds = ice cube ass).

My final game was last night, and Jodie had an appointment and couldn't make it, so I was stuck with a different Ticket Seller, who had done just about every other type of event, just not football, and whom I'm conviced is dumber than a rock (which is sad considering she works on our campus), as evidenced by her lack of (for lack of a better term) social graces, screeching "I can help someone here" at the couple who are paying together at my window, or her calling out to people"Helloooo" in the "Oh my god, you are retarded" kind of way, rather than the "Hi. I'm trying to get your attention" kind of way. Oh and I can't forget about when she said she was running out of ones, and so should she use the money under the cash drawer (Um, yes, sweetie, WTF do you think that's for? Decoration?!)

So let's review some of the high points of Ticket Selling, shall we?

• Little shack + hot weather = Kristen unhappy

• Little shack + cold winds = Kristen unhappy

• Kristen only works well with intelligent individuals

• People like to shoot the messenger. I am not the person responsible for ticket prices. I am just the one to enforce them. P.S. I don't give a shit about last year

• People think they are funny. Don't say you're a Senior Citizen when you are really 20, and don't say it when you're like 47 and I'll start to give you that ticket and you say "Just kidding!"

• People are rude. When I say "Hi, how are you?" or attempt to engage them in any way, more often than not, I get a blank stare.
  

• People think I'm a mind reader. Don't assume I know that you are a Senior Citizen, a general, have 2 more in your party who you're paying for, or that your kid is under 5. Because ya know what? I would bet I'd guess wrong.

• Kids are dumb. If you are a student, say so. It doesn't matter if you don't go to Tokay. It doesn't matter if you don't go to an LUSD school. We'll give you the Student price. You just have to open your mouth. And. Say. So. (As previously mentioned, I'm not a mind reader)

• People treat their money horribly. (Perhaps that's truly what's wrong with the economy...bad money karma) They fold it, crinkle it, ball it up, keep it all mixed up by denomination, and then they just throw it at you and expect you to unfold, uncrinkle, unball it for them. Which also falls under the "People are rude" category.
  

• Just because you sell tickets at football doesn't mean you get to watch football. The announcers are barely understandable in the stands, let alone in the booth. And we don't close up until halftime of the Varsity game. So basically you have no idea what's going on, and the last half of the game for our team is usually not that exciting (usually because we are losing)

So in conclusion (sorry to sound all 5 paragraph essay on ya -- but I am writing this as I sit in a classroom, proctoring the ACT), I don't know if football ticket selling is for me. I'd much rather exercise my right as a staff to get into the game for free, at the time I choose, most likely when it's close to a temp I find tolerable, and actually watch the game with my own 2 eyes, in it's entirety. Then again...at least basketball ticket sales are indoors...